Is This Book for Me?
(an alternative introduction in quiz form)
Okay. So you’re intrigued. Maybe a little suspicious. Something about this book made you want to pick it up and open it, but hey—that’s probably true of a lot of books. I get it.
So let’s cut to the chase. Answer the ten questions below to find out if this book is for you. For each question, pick an answer that’s closest to what’s true for you. If a particular question doesn’t relate to your present life, then imagine how you might answer it if it did. Be honest—no one’s looking!
1. You’re single and you’re going to a party where there may be people you’d be attracted to. Do you dress sexy?
a. You know it!
b. If I’m feeling brave.
c. It depends on what you mean by sexy.
d. Probably not. I’d feel too foolish or shy.
e. No way. I don’t want to give anyone the wrong impression.
2. Telling someone what you want to do with them (or what you want them to do with you), sexually, is:
a. Hot.
b. Scary.
c. A total buzzkill.
d. Something I wish I could do.
e. My favorite way to spend an evening.
3. You do things sexually that feel okay at the time, but you feel bad about it afterward.
a. Often.
b. Never.
c. On rare occasions.
d. Only when I’m drunk.
e. Doesn’t everybody?
4. You find out that your fifteen-year-old-daughter (sister, niece, friend) is thinking of having sex for the first time. You:
a. Panic.
b. Ground her/tell on her.
c. Sit her down for a heart-to-heart to make sure she’s really ready and knows how to have safer sex.
d. Sit her down for a stern lecture.
e. All of the above.
5. You’re leaving a party, club, or event late at night. The friends that you came with have all left. Your car is parked several long, dark blocks away. You:
a. Just calmly walk to my car, taking the most lighted path available.
b. Walk to my car as fast as I can, with my keys fanned out between my fingers and my heart pounding.
c. Ask that guy at the party who might have been flirting with me to walk me to my car.
d. Call a cab to take me to my car.
e. I would never let myself get into that situation in the first place.
6. Women who dress and act like sluts:
a. Worry me. Don’t they know the kind of attention they’ll attract?
b. Make me angry. They give women a bad name and teach men they can disrespect us. They deserve whatever they get.
c. Are no better or worse than anyone else. It’s not my place to judge.
d. Are powerful feminist role models. Rejecting shame about our sexuality is an act of resistance.
e. Are some of my best friends.
7. When it comes to your own sex life, you:
a. Don’t have one.
b. Get exactly what I want and am totally satisfied.
c. Wish I could change a few things, but I haven’t found a way to talk with my partner(s) about what I need.
d. Wish I could change a few things, but when I try to talk with my partner(s) about it, they don’t respond the way I want.
e. I’m not really happy with it, but I don’t know what I want or how to change it.
8. Men have a harder time controlling themselves sexually and therefore can’t be held to the same standards as women.
a. That’s just biologically true.
b. I’m really not sure about this one.
c. That’s a load of crap.
d. That’s true in our culture, because of the different ways we raise boys and girls.
e. There may be some biological truth to that, but we’re not animals—men should be expected to overcome their biological urges and control themselves.
9. Sexual acts you do (or want to do) make you feel ashamed or bad about yourself.
a. All the time.
b. Only one or two of them, but definitely.
c. A little, maybe.
d. Never.
e. Almost never, but every once in a while it sneaks up on me.
10. Your friends and family share your values about sex and sexuality.
a. Yes.
b. My friends do, but my family really doesn’t get it.
c. I have no idea. I don’t talk about sex with my friends or family, and they don’t talk about it with me.
d. Uh, no. They think I’m a total slut/prude/freak/weirdo/etc.
e. Not yet, but I’m working on them.
